An auditor is hard at work, auditing an airline. The auditor cannot understand an excess fuel consumption on a Detroit to Erie route, for flight no. 420. The auditor calls the pilot and demands an explanation. The pilot replies "It was a late night, snow storm was raging, and I lost my bearings." The auditor demands a statement, "for what?" the pilot asks. The auditor tells him "for lost bearings."

The auditors have taken an inventory of thermometers held in a warehouse, in summer. The thermometers will be exported out of the country in January, and are kept under lock and key. In December, auditors ask management to redo the inventory count. The management is surprised "Why? Nothing has changed." Auditors tell them "The inventory is overstated, in summer there is more mercury in the thermometers."

There was an expert accountant who was well versed in the game theory. He once hears that his intelligent niece, who is five years old, always takes a nickel, when a choice between a nickel and a dime is offered. He explains to his niece "You must understand, dime is twice as valuable as a nickel, so always choose a dime." The niece tells "Uncle, but then people will not offer me any money."

An Indian Accountant's Theory of Reincarnation - if you are a good accountant, virtuous accountant, then you are reborn as an engineer. But if you are evil, wicked accountant, you are reborn as a psychologist.

A man lands on a hot air balloon in the middle of the desert, not knowing his whereabouts he looks around. Along walks another guy so the balloon man asks "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" "Sure" says the other one "longitude 23'45", latitude 34'12". "Oh," says the balloon man, "you must be accountant" "As a matter of fact, I am, how did you know?" "Well, you just gave me a very precise piece of worthless information." " I see" says the accountant "and you must be a consultant." "You are right, how did you know?" "As long as you're up in the air, you seem to know where you're going, but as soon as you get down to earth, you're lost."

An auditor is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.  "Doctor, I just can't get sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem - I make a mistake and then spend many hours trying to find it."

An auditor is hard at work auditing a manufacturing plant.  He spots one worker at the end of the shift, that worker is always carrying a wheelbarrow covered with an opaque cloth.  The auditor is certain something is fishy.   He asks the security to check the wheelbarrow.  Many surprise checks, security finds nothing.  On the last day of the audit the auditor goes to the worker and asks, "Alright, I give up.  I know you are taking something.  I cannot prove it .   I do not want to pursue it.  I just want to know.  What are you stealing?"  The worker replies, "Wheelbarrows."