在一次面试过程中，一位聪明且富有经验的会计应聘首席财务官的职位。面试他的是董事会成员和一名首席执行官。在面试中首席执行官突然问道：“请问3乘以7等于多少？”这名会计快速的思考然后答到“22”。面试结束后会计走出来再计算了一遍得出答案是21，于是他失望的回家了。第二天早晨他接到了首席执行官的电话说，“你好，你得到了这份工作。”会计感到很惊喜。他忍不住问道，“非常感谢，但是3乘以7是多少呢？”首席财务官告诉他——“在所有的应聘者中你得答案最接近。”
一个阳光灿烂的下午，三名会计站在一根高杆边，他们闹不清这根杆到底有多高。第一位是名注册会计师，他说到，我认为没有任何权威指南告诉我们如何来测量这根杆的高度，那不是一名会计的工作。第二位会计是公立大学的教授，他说，如果我们对同一位置作一个调查询问人们高杆的高度，然后我们可以推断出这根杆的高度，这将是个很好的估测。第三名会计来自高等学府的教授。他非常自信的声称，如果在不同的条件下测量高杆的影子，然后得出一个多元线形回归模型，这样就能非常准确的估计高杆的高度了。正在他们讨论的时候，一位工程师正好路过打听他们的讨论。三位会计对他说，你可能不能理解这一复杂的问题。工程师反对并得知了他们讨论的问题。他笑了笑，然后抓住高杆底部抬起了高杆，测量之后说，“12英尺3英寸，”于是就走了。三位会计看着他，轻蔑的嘲笑他并异口同声的说道——“嗨，我们是想知道杆的高度不是杆的长度。”
有一位六大会计师事务所之一的合伙人，他非常成功但是却有一个奇怪的习惯。他总是来到办公桌前打开一个上锁的抽屉，看看里面然后又把抽屉锁上再开始工作。他的下属知道他将他成功的秘密所在抽屉里，他们都在等待一个机会能看看抽屉里的秘密。有一天这位合伙人出差去外地，下属们决定敲开锁看个究竟。他们打开了抽屉，屏住了呼吸往里看。里面有一张小纸片，上面写的是——“左边记借方，右边记贷方。”
一个火星人登陆地球实施抢劫、掠夺、放火。他对看到的第一户人家的主人说“我是火星人，刚从太阳系的那一边来。我们要毁坏你们的住处、抢劫放火。你有什么想法？”房子主人回答说“在没有确凿证据之前，我不能发表意见，我是名合格的会计师”
Accounting JokesA job interview is in progress, a bright and experienced accountant is interviewing for a position of a CFO. He is being interviewed by the members of board of directors and a CEO. During the interview the CEO suddenly asks: "Tell me, what is seven multiplied by three?" The accountant thinks fast and tells "22." Once the interview is over the accountant goes out, takes out the calculator and finds the answer - 21, disappointed, he goes home. Next morning he gets a call from the CEO, "Hey, you got a job." The accountant is pleasantly surprised. He cannot but ask, "Thank you very much for the job but what about seven multiplied by three?" The CEO tells him - "of all the candidates we interviewed, you came the closest."
On a sunny afternoon three accountants are standing near a tall pole and wondering about the height of the pole. First accountant, a CPA says, I do not think there is any authoritative guidance on how measure the height of a pole, that is not the job of accountants. Second accountant, a professor at a state university says, well, if we take a survey of similar locations and asked people about the height of poles, then we may be able to deduce height of this pole, it will be a good enough estimate. The third accountant is a professor at an Ivy league university. He confidently claims, if we measure the shadow of the pole under different conditions, then I can run a multivariate regression model and can give a very good estimate of the height. As this conservation is going on, an engineer is passing by, he stops and asks about their discussion. Accountants tell him, you probably can not understand this complex problem. The engineer persists and hears about the problem. He smiles, lifts the pole from the base, measures it, and says, "twelve feet and three inches," and walks off. Accountants look at him, laugh contemptuously and say in unison - "hell, we wanted to know the height of the pole and he tells us the length."
A very successful partner is a big six firm had a peculiar habit. He will go to his desk open a locked drawer, look inside, lock the drawer again, and start his work. His subordinates knew that he hid the secret of his success in the drawer, they waited for the opportunity. One day when the partner had gone out of the city, the juniors decided to make a break. They broke into the drawer, breathlessly, and looked inside. There was one small piece of paper inside - it said - "left is debit and right is credit."
A Martian lands to plunder, pillage, and burn. The Martian goes up to the owner of the first house he sees and says "I'm a Martian just arrived from the other side of the solar system. We're here to destroy your civilization, pillage, and burn. What do you think of that?' The owner replies "I cannot express an opinion based on a hearsay evidence, I am a Chartered Accountant"
