发布时间 : 星期日 文章幽默a short english story更新完毕开始阅读0bfdeadcff00bed5b9f31de9
★A Trip to Disney
On a trip to Disney World in Florida, my husband and I and our two children devoted ourselves wholeheartedly to the wonders of this attraction. After three exhausting days, we headed for home.
As we drove away, our son waved and said, “Good-by, Mickey.”
Our daughter waved and said, “Good-by, Minnie.”
My husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Good-by, Money.” ★
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and
ate him.
★Not a Crime But a Miracle
David was a young man with a hobby of fishing, but he seldom got a chance to practise it.
Then one summer he decided to have a holiday ih the mountains where there were a lot of streams. He thought he could catch many fish there.
The first morning after he arrived, he walked to the nearest stream with his fishing-rod. He saw an old man beside the water, so he asked him whether it was a private stream. The old man answered that it was not, so David then said to him, “Well, then it won't be a crime if I catch some fish here, will it?”
“Oh, no,” answered the old man, “it won't be a crime, but it will certainly be a miracle.” （126）
★The Farmer’s Donkey驴子的故事
One day a farmer's donkey fell into an abandoned well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally, he decided t he animal was too old and the well needed to be covered up anyway.
So it just wasn't worth it to him to try to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to come over and him. They each grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. Realizing what was happening, the donkey at first cried and wailed horribly.
Then, a few shovel-fulls later, he quieted down completely. The farmer peered down into the well, and was astounded by what he saw. With every shovel-full of dirt that hit his back, the donkey would shake it off and take a step up on the new layer of dirt.
As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and trotted off, to the shock and astonishment of everyone. The Moral: Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to stop wailing, and not let the dirt bury you, but to shake it off and take a step up. Each one of our troubles is a stepping-stone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. 有一天, 一个农夫的驴掉进了一口废井里。农夫一直在想办法怎样救它, 而这头可怜的驴也哀号了几个小时。
最后，农夫决定, 这头驴不值得去救, 它太老了, 而且, 这口井也该填上了。
于是他请了所有的邻居来帮忙, 他们每人用一把铲子, 把土铲进井里。好像明白了发生的事, 开始时这头驴惊恐大叫。 几铲满满的土下去后, 驴完全静了下来。农夫向井内窥视, 他震惊了, 只见随着每一铲满满的土打在驴的背上, 驴总能抖掉它们并且迈上新土层从而站得更高。
当农夫的邻居继续把土铲到驴的背上, 它都能抖掉它们, 并迈上一步。很快, 每个人都震动和惊讶了, 这头驴已走到了井边, 小跑开了。
这是一种什么精神：人生会把土铲在你身上, 什么样的”土”都有。 脱离这井的诀窍就是停止哀号, 不要让土把你埋葬, 抖掉它们, 向上迈进一步。我们遇到的每一个困难是一块垫脚石。不要停止, 永不放弃! 我们就能从最深的井里走出来。抖掉泥土, 向上迈进一步!
★You Are Too Late
on the bus a man discovered a pick-pocket's hand thrust into his pocket. “sorry,” he said to the pickpocket, “you are too late. My wife did it before you.”
★A Way to Make Money
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress drycleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, “Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand.”
“Good,” my dad quickly replied. “Wash it again!”
★A Family Rule
Mr. and Mrs. Jones very seldom go out in the evening, but last saturday, Mrs. Jones said to her husband, “There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Can we go and see it?”
Mr. Jones was quite happy about it, so they went, and both of them enjoyed the film.
They came out of the cinema at 11 o'clock, got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark. Then Mrs. Jones said, “Look, Bill. A woman's running along the road very fast, and a man's running after her. Can you see them?”
Mr. Jones said, “Yes, I can.” He drove the car slowly near the woman and said to her, “Can we help you?”
“No, thank you,” the woman said, but she did not stop running. “My husband and I always run home after the cinema, and the last one washes the dishes at home!”
★A Fine Match
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very
afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, “Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse.”
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
★Where Am I
Nat lived in a small town in England. He alwalys stayed in England for his holidays, but then last year he thought, “I've never been outside this country. All my friends go to Spain, and they like it very much, so this year I'm going there too.”
First he went to Madrid and stayed in a small hotel for a few days. On the first morning he went out for a walk. In England people drive on the left, but in Spain they drive on the right. Nat forgot about this, and while he was crossing a busy street, a bicycle knocked him down.
Nat lay on the ground for a few seconds and then he sat up and said, “Where am I?”
An old man was selling maps at the side of the street, and he at once came to Nat and said, “Map of the city, sir?”
★Twin Lobsters
Once I had achieved success as an entertainer, I wanted to impress my Mom. I brought her to Las Vegas for dinner at Caesar's Palace. Among other items, the menu listed “Twin Lobsters - $45.”
“Why don't you order that, Mom?” I asked. “I know how much you like lobster.”
She looked at me with the eyes of a skeptic and shook her head. “How do they know they're really twins?”
★A Cow or a Horse
A visitor from the city was annoying the farmer with his many questions. He pointed to an animal in the field. “Why doesn't that cow have any horns?” he wanted to know.
“Well,” said the farmer. “There are three reasons why a cow may not have horns. Some cows are born without horns. Some cows lose their horns if they are sick. And we cut the horns of some cows to keep them from hurting people. But the reason that that cow there doesn't have any horns is that that cow is a
horse.”